I Want You to Be Free by S. Nadja Zajdman is a non-fiction book about the author's mother, Renata Skotnicka-Zajdman, a Jewish woman who grew up in Poland during WWII. The book is divided into three sections, which almost feel like three different books in some ways and I think I will write my review in three parts as well.
Part I: The End is in the Beginning
This section of the story is my personal favourite. It reads like a historical fiction novel, but it is truly a non-fiction survivor story. Renata was about 10 years old when her world as she knew it completely fell apart. From the Warsaw Ghetto, to behind German borders and back and forth again, Renata survived almost completely alone, sometimes passing for a gentile, compulsively lying about her age (so that she would be perceived as older) and fighting for her life when she was only a young teen. This section is completely gripping and almost impossible to put down. The stories sound too crazy to be true and the many escapes and close calls she went through are so terrifyingly detailed that readers will quickly become engrossed in the story. It is extremely well written and fans of WWII historical fictions would love this true story.
Part II: A New Life in a New Land
This section was quite interesting, it reads like a memoir and tells Renata's story of making a new life for herself in Quebec, Canada. After barely surviving the Holocaust she now is only a young adult who must learn to live in new country on the opposite side of an ocean. This section chronicles Renata's life as a wife, parent and business woman. She faces the PTSD and insomnia that came with surviving the war, and has an immense fear of losing what little family she has left. Here we also learn about her daughter Sharon (the S in S. Nadja Zajdman) and what it was like growing up with a parent who survived the Holocaust. This section is really neat because in some ways it tells two different stories, Renata's and Nadja's at the same time.
Part III: Going Public
This section was my least favourite of the three, but also feel it was the most important. In this last section we see both Nadja and Renata sharing Renata's story with the world. Renata travels and writes a personal memoir, both with the goal of educating about the Holocaust. Najda's role is supporting her mother and helping her tell her story so that it could last well beyond Renata's life. This section explains the reasoning for the book, that Najda wanted to tell her mother's story as accurately as possible. In this section we also see Renata lose many of her remaining family and friends, often very shortly after reuniting. We also follow almost a decade long fight with cancer that yet again proves the strength that Renata carries with her daily and the true survivor skills and perspectives. I think this section is important because educating people about the Holocaust and the lasting impact such a devastating atrocity continues to have on victims, survivors and their families. It is one thing to read an interesting, best seller historical fiction story about the war and learn some great information, it is another to hear personal accounts and see the real impacts of their experiences on themselves and future generations. We are taught to learn history or we are doomed to repeat it, but just reading for enjoyment and not the reflection is not as impactful.
Discussion:
There were a few moments within this book that I felt needed to be dog-eared and reflected on, so I will try to explore those a bit in this section.
"The brutal cold and recurring epidemics kept German killing sprees at bay. With the advent of spring, murder became more organised. In April, in one night, fifty-one men were dragged out of their beds and shot. There was no reason given. For people without rights, there doesn't need to be." (p. 54)
This quote stuck out to me for a few reasons. First, I thought it was interesting how the author described this change in season and change of both health (epidemics) and murder rates. As we are all way too familiar, spring and summer bring a decrease in viruses, but it isn't long before another wave is upon us, and in this case, the war also was an epidemic. Second, I thought the last line about people without rights not requiring a reason to be killed is such a succinct way to explain the whole premise of genocide and war. When we believe that someone has less rights than anyone else, they suddenly become subhuman and from there it is a very slippery slope.
After describing how her parents had been conned by a business partner who was also their brother in law, Nadja explains: "What I do know, is that emotional blackmail can freeze the brain of genius. I also know that Holocaust survivors' greatest fear is further loss of family. They will submit to almost any form of abuse in order not to lose what passes for family." (p. 185).
Nadja mentions this fear of losing more family a few times throughout the story and I really just wanted to remember that piece. Trauma appears in so many ways and when we might be frustrated with a survivor for not doing more to protect themselves from future trauma, in this case lost finances and hard work wasted, we may not realize the motivations behind the choices people who have experienced trauma make.
"The Holocaust is obsessed with its survivors..." (p. 268)
This line just reminds me so much of a previous post I made about the book People Love Dead Jews by Dara Horn. Horn really explores the way present day society perceives Jewish people and this constant need to romanticize and add happy endings to stories of the Holocaust. The number of WWII historical fictions that are best sellers proves this obsession, but the concern I have (and Horn discusses at length) is that we are not sharing the real stories because those ones are difficult to read. Instead we are creating a market for people to consume endless numbers of fictional stories of European resistance fighters who were actually not very common. Historical fiction can be a great way to draw readers in and teach about the past, but what sells and what people need to learn may not always be the same story.
Finally, I have to mention that the reunion between Renata and her friend Irena was such a wonderful story. I'm so glad that they were able to find each other after all those years, and also the fact that they had both assumed each other's identities (in some way or another) after thinking each other had died. It reminds me that when all hope feels lost, don't give up completely, because what you are waiting for might just find its way to you when it is meant to be.
Final Thoughts:
Together these three parts come together to create one cohesive book that tells an important story to both enjoy and learn from. The writing style is really clean, easy to follow and informative. I would highly recommend this book and am so thankful to David Roy and Hobart Books for giving me the chance to read and review it! Here is the link to Hobart Books where you will find this and many other great books: https://www.hobartbooks.com/product-page/i-want-you-to-be-free